Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one. -House
Thursday, June 10, 2010
My First Cooking Post!
Okay, so I know I said in my first post that this was not going to be a baking blog. But after breakfast this morning I figured, this is such a simple delicacy that everyone can enjoy--why be selfish and keep it to myself? Do not be daunted by the intricacies of this recipe, it's quite easy, I assure you.
This is my recipe for my FAMOUS Croissant Breakfast Sandwiches. Just follow these easy steps, I've also included pictures to aid in your cooking adventure.
1. Remove the tasty morsel from the box shown here:
Only 290 calories per serving!
2. Carefully remove the sandwich from its protective plastic lining. Much like a condom, it keeps all of the important contents within its walls.
3. Place the frozen sandwich within the very center of a paper towel. Make sure it is directly in the middle, or the consequences of an unevenly-thawed breakfast sandwich could be dire.
4. Wrap up the sandwich, place it in the middle of the microwave, and hit "defrost" for a total of 1 minute and 40 seconds. Do not exceed this time limit, or your sandwich will taste like bark.
Placed perfectly in the middle. (I know, I make it look so easy).
On my microwave, it's a little tricky: you must hit "Time Cook" TWICE before it allows you to find the hidden "Defrost" option. Don't let this fool you, nor let it intimidate you. I assure you, the button is there.
5. This step is crucial--you must next FLIP the sandwich over once it has finished defrosting. The sandwich may be hot, so much like ripping off a band-aid, the quicker the better. I've mastered the art of the sandwich flip. In time, you will too.
6. Next, you must COOK the sandwich (not defrost) for 50 seconds. (Maybe I shouldn't be so presumptuous with such a difficult recipe, but I'm assuming most of you know how to hit "time cook" and type "5-0") so I do not have a manual picture of this step.
7. CAREFULLY remove the steaming sandwich from the microwave and unwrap your decadent breakfast. Smell the sausage, revel in the scent of the melted cheese (much of which may be still stuck to the napkin).
8. Enjoy your meat-egg-and-cheese masterpiece between a croissant! But wait a good two minutes before biting in, or you'll be stuck doing that awkward wide-open-mouth, reverse breathing motion when you place something in there that's too hot.
So as my Italian grandfather would say before every one of his savory meals: "Mangia!"
Disclaimer: Now clearly, I cannot cook to save my life. But, if you want some actual, cooking recipes, check out my friends' blogs who actually CAN bake! Take a little gander at J-Stan's Bakery or at Emj's Blog. Both have some recipes that are absolutely delicious. Enjoy!