^This feisty brunette is obviously me, in my sombrero.....just kidding, Teletubbies don't wear sombreros.
Secondly, my BFF 4 Life, Nichole,
verbally accosted me via blackberry for not addressing her in my blog kindly asked that I include her in my blog. She was spouting smoke from her ears and gritting her teeth a little upset that she hadn't been mentioned yet. I told her today's post was going to be about her, but unfortunately, I lied. Nik, if you're reading this, you know great masterpieces take time. And quite frankly, you have your law finals this week so you shouldn't be reading this!!! SO GO STUDY! You will have an entire post that will basically be a dedication to your existence, I swear. love you. mean it.
Ok, so now on to what I'm actually going to talk about. If you know me, then you know that I have a SICK obsession with frames. Whenever I go to Target, Homegoods, BB&B, both Nichole and Christina have physically had to remove me from the frame section. Afterwards, I go through a moment of withdrawal, and I find myself lost and wandering aimlessly in the bedding or diningware section, sad and strung out like a crackhead waiting for a hit. It's an addiction, it really is.
I NEED PICTURE FRAMES!
I can say that I'm about 95% positive that if you're my friend, and you've received a gift from me in the last 4 years, I'm sorry to say that it was probably some kind of picture frame. With some kind of black and white picture in it. With a quote (probably written in white) that has some reference to the deeper meanings of life, examples:
1. "If we get a little crazy, just blame it on the alcohol"
2. “Get up and dance, get up and smile, get up and drink to the days that are gone in the shortest while.”
3. "you are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" -Joe Lewis
....see a recurring theme here?
THEN...there are the two most deadly combinations for any frame addict. it's like the Oxycontin of capturing photos. First: the collage. A way for an ADD person like myself to include not one, but possibly THIRTY pictures into one, fabulous frame. If I'm feeling feisty I might even throw a quote around the border. If you receive one of these from me, (a) be happy that I have so many pictures of us together, but (b) also understand it's because I couldn't rationally, (although I'd probably love to) give you thirty separate frames. My cousin Ashley made me one of the two of us, I tweaked it a little bit but now it's hanging next to my bed:
For the record, Ash is just as bad as me...we have so many collages it's disgusting.
My second deadliest combination is the surprisingly popular Nautically-themed frame. I will have to get to my nautically-themed ANYTHING addiction at a later date. But for some reason, if I find a nautically-themed picture frame, it's comparable to that scene in Tropic Thunder where Jeff Portnoy, (Jack Black) the recovering heroin addict, stumbles upon a mountain of the purest form of heroin in an opium den. It's like hitting the motherload!! While in the store, I'll find myself getting anxious if I think someone might swoop in and grab it before I do.
So if there's one left, I'll be DAMNED if anyone is going to take it from me.
See? poor Sean has a long road ahead of him, he's already gotten two frames from me. It took every inch of self-restraint that I had NOT to give him a Nautically-themed one, since he already has a bunch. So this one's sitting next to my bed.
So I will leave you, friends, with this. I found this website that has the most adorable picture frames, and you can purchase them straight from the site: Elizabeth Lynn Designs has preppy styled frames that I may have to invest in. Especially since almost every frame I own is black. (I like to match).
If you ever stumble upon a poor soul, scratching her neck wildly in the stemware section of your local Bed Bath & Beyond or Homegoods, it's probably me. Be kind to her, because some b*tch has probably just taken the last picture frame with the lighthouse on it.