Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Spring cleaning....eating? Nope, let's stick with cleaning.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but we're still in the process of trying to renovate the house! Part of this process is tearing every drawing and/or doodle my mom has saved since I was 4 years old from her hands, and forcing it into the garbage getting rid of all of the clutter. I don't know if any of you have ever seen the show "Absolutely Fabulous" (it might still be on BBC in syndication), but it was absolutely hysterical, and I have almost every episode (on VHS). 

Edina & Patsy

It's basically about two middle-aged British women who do nothing but drink their way through their 40's; (their years in their 40's...not to be confused with actual 40 oz malt beverages). Anyways, there's an episode where Edina - one of the two drunken protagonists, wants to clean the house, and she keeps squawking that she needs "clean surfaces! cleeeeeeeeeean surfaces!!" For some reason I still think it's one of the funniest episodes in all of the seasons of the show, and still  find it challenging not to pee in my pants whenever I watch it.

I guess this was a bit of a tangent, but the take-home messages here are a) you need to watch the show if you haven't, and b) this phrase has also been a running joke for a long time between Lisa and I, namely whenever we need to clean the house. (We say it with full-on, awful, British accents, usually multiple times...the whole nine yards. Yes, we're THAT cool in the Bellocchio household.)

With the whole "clean surfaces" mantra in mind, after my little sleep-aid kicked in last night, I felt it necessary to eat everything non-perishable inside of clean out our fridge and organize it. There was no resin to step in this time, so I was free to prance around the kitchen without consequence. I did actually clean out the fridge, but that was not not until I did some snacking. (duh). Much to the dismay of my poor mother, its turns out that the fruit of her loins has become some strange hybrid of a daughter, with the cleaning tendencies of an OCD maid and the appetite of a truck driver.

I wish there was a before and after picture of my handiwork, but I guess there was a significant difference. Lisa was so impressed with my work on the fridge that she left another one of her infamous notes for me this morning! I really should start saving these.

oh I don't know, Lisa! Whose refrigerator is it!? Hopefully not ours, because there's no longer any food in it!! (excluding the delicious Ensure on the right ::gag:: and excessively large vat of yogurt on the left).

...and massive amounts of condiments...and I know for a fact that that lonely hummus container with the red lid hiding next to the pudding is definitely empty. oops.

Unfortunately, I can't account for what was actually eaten, and what was thrown away because of expiration dates. However, if my next post is written by way of hospital room bed, you'll know that I got some wires crossed last night and probably ate some canned artichoke hearts, circa 2006.

In the coming weeks I've been informed that we're going to be pressure cleaning the back patio and doing some touch-up painting. The last time I painted was during the summer of 2008, when I helped Emj paint her brother's room in Cape Cod a nice, clean, white color. I also neglected to wear a hat--(apparently one of the first rules of painting, who knew?) and for the rest of the summer I looked like Rogue's mentally challenged relative, and I don't have enough fingers or toes to count the number of people who asked me if I was "going gray a little early."

Clearly I am nowhere as attractive as Anna Paquin, nor did my "streak of white" look as purposefully placed as hers. But the amount that plopped onto my head wasn't far off. Either way, what I am trying to convey here is that these coming weeks of renovating should be interesting. I'll keep you posted.

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